From a young age I was taught to keep quiet: to hide my emotions.

I remember my mother (holy woman who did and still does miracles for me) telling me not to throw tantrums, not to shout or cry in public because it made me look bad in the eyes of the people around me. “Do you see the people around you how badly they look at you when you throw tantrums?”; she would whisper to me, I would feel ashamed and stop crying and shouting.

I realise now that those were the first times I took the sound off myself.

Those episodes were followed by many others among which I remember my school days: the teachers and friends to whom I wanted to say things that I kept silent. Later when I met women and men to whom I felt, for various reasons, attracted and to whom I wanted to get closer but with whom I could not find the words to do so because I thought they belonged to a different and superior world to mine. Or when, having met a couple and having invested a lot of time in the couple I kept silent so as not to argue and for the sake of peace and quiet. Lastly, various situations at work where I had to endure and keep quiet.

Each time my fifth chakra closed a little more and with my fifth chakra my possibility of communicating to others what I was feeling, living and wanting closed.

I reached a point where my fifth chakra was so closed that I could no longer even communicate to myself what I really wanted.

I got to a point where, unable to communicate with anyone, let alone myself, I locked myself in a sleepy, lazy silence where I sought only routines to let the days pass in the least painful way possible.

Then, by pure chance (which does not exist), I discovered Tantra and began to rediscover the joy of communicating and living. I rediscovered that I have an inner child with needs, desires and its own voice.

I rediscovered how beautiful it is to be in tune with myself and the Universe.

I rediscovered that I am full of strengths and weaknesses and that it is the combination of these that makes me a unique person and therefore wonderful and precious.

Finally, I discovered that when I cried as a child, others did not look at me badly: it was me who saw a stern look in the eyes around me because that was what my mother had suggested…

By opening the fifth chakra I reopened myself to life.

And you?

How is your fifth chakra? How do you communicate with yourself and with others? Leave me a comment to tell me about it or write to me privately.

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